How do you approach your lover with a fetish without freaking him out?

My recommendation is to approach your lover about the fetish like how you normally would when suggesting on trying something new in sex.

I feel that in relationships people love experiencing and trying new things physically and sexually. It can be anywhere from oral sex, toys, you name it. In relationships both people tend to be interested in trying something new as long as it is with their significant other. That being said, I recommend approaching your significant other about your fetish as if it was not a big deal. Just make sure to not be nervous when you bring it up.

Just remember, the fetish you like will only seem awkward and strange if you make it seem awkward and strange. Plus don’t look at it as strange thing because maybe your lover has some fetishes of their own that you’re unaware of.

In fact, I have friends who are in relationships with one another where both have fetishes. They both too felt awkward at first about their fetishes, but eventually didn’t care because they loved each other in the end.

Going back to what I said, I recommend approaching the situation as if it was something normal. By doing that then the other will take it seriously and not find it strange.

Fetishes in our society are becoming a popular thing in our pop culture so it shouldn’t be a thing to be ashamed of. So just approach it with some confidence. If the other doesn’t really like it, don’t let it bother you because it isn’t going to be a thing that changes the other’s perspective of you. It is just a thing you find sexually arousing and not a thing to be judged off of. Plus if this other person is really your “lover” then you should have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hope this helps!

Later Days…

This was responded by Sonychak@Xanga so if you want to bash about this post please make it toward me, Sonychak.

 If anyone else has any more questions, message either me (Sonychak), mynameisblueskye, or Gerald_Washington your questions regarding love, sex, relationships, fashion or anything from a man's point of view. Also, message us if you want to be anonymous.

Right after the anonymous question about a man who didn't mind giving her girlfriend oral sex (and is kind enough to ask permission, as well), another anonymous dame came in with a followup question that is equally about taking a trip downtown: "What's the thing with guys not being into oral when it comes to giving? What can make him in the mood? How do you decently ask for such a thing?"

Yes, guys, what is it about that sweet, magical kiss to a woman's cozy, tender, juicy and ever-sweet spot that sends most of you heading for higher ground?

If some of you didn't know, we tackled oral sex once with another woman's boyfriend, who was actually interested to do it. Now, here I will explain the whole reason why oral sex has seemed so... troublesome. And I will go ahead and say that this is a hard question to answer without making us look kind of...pussy, for a lack of a less fitting and less joke-inducing term.

But I guess there can be more than one explanation for this.

1. One of them is all about knowing how to do it. One of the complaints is that some men try to find the g-spot and the clit. They lick around, but men find it kind of frustrating, when some of them might not know where your spot is, so they can get to work. (They expect to hear a sort of feedvback, if they are in the correct territory.) Even if they did find it, I guess its all in the work and the lengths they go to to make you cum. Even some male comedians talked of the situation. DL Hughley once mentioned it in a comedy show, and found himself saying once "Hurry up! My jaws hurt!" (I mentioned before that when it came to virgin sex acts, men want to know how to do it, and women want to know who to do it with.)

2. Another is women's sudden questioning of how much their kitty cat smells. Guys, how many of you hate it, when a woman talks of how much it smells, as if it wasn't enough to imagine when a woman's period appears? One of the cardinal rules of thumb during sex is that if you are so worried about how much your region smells, go take a shower. Otherwise, keep it buttoned, and let him go to work. 

3. Another situation is that some men just don't want to picture the idea of licking some other dudes crusty cum out of your vagina. Some men like when women do it, for pleasure, only because the cock is on the outside and easily washable. Meanwhile, we have no idea who you might have let inside. 

That's why some sexually sensitive guys like to imagine that they are probably the first or the special one taking a lick or a thrust into your sweet area. hey know they aren't but they would love to imagine it, and the possibility of being their last. And the more less-caring, hyperhorny dudes just want no more than action and satisfaction. These days, its hard to tell which women are the promiscuous ones and which ones are more careful. So, when a man goes down and explores your vaginal area, they want to feel like a sweet and scumptious treat is trickling on down the orifice. Yes, I am a nerd.

4. Also, some people might see sex acts psychologically as a sort of power. You mgiht notice that in any porn video you see, any woman who is even suspected as heavily promiscuous is probably never going to get their's licked around much. (Depends on if they care or not.) So, if you are dealing with an a-hole, he might want it whenever he wants it. Heck, a man going down on you should at least indicate that you have power and control over who gets to pet your kitty cat.

Whatever other reasons may be, like I said, the one way you are probably going to get men in the mood to go down there is to try to have a little bit of mystery for him. If the man likes you and you like him, then if all is comfortable, talk to him about it, and then maybe ask him if he is interested. (It doesn't hurt to ease in with a joke, either.)

Perhaps, you can ask him when he feels horny or feels like making love or having sex. If you really want it, and you don't mind returning the favor, tell him that if he does you, you just might do him. That way, reciprocity is gained. (Perhaps, a 69 session can be arranged from that? I don't know.) Just let him block out the quick impression that his tongue probably may not have been the first and probably won't be the last thing to paint the walls of your pussy.

Also, it helps to try not to take too long to cum. If that will be a problem, tell him what he can also do.

Hopefully, that helps.

Tangent: The reason we might use the word pussy more is because unless we say kitty cat or pussy cat, vagina just doesn't sound as sexy. You know?

If anyone out there has anymore questions, send it to me (mynameisblueskye), sonychak, or Gerald_Washington. Then, tell us if you want it anonymous or whatever in the message. It's okay if you have multiple questions, but we are going to answer one per weekday. OK?

Hello, this is mynameisblueskye at the forefront. This Monday, I thought I would give you some news about Ask Me Anything. First...

Finals
Wish our colleague Gerald_Washington the best of luck on his finals. He will be taking the whole week off and focusing on his finals in college.

Sonychak!
We recruited Sonychak over to be a part of the crew, if most of you didn't already notice. If any guy can give great advice or answer questions, then give us a shout, and we'll see if we can recruit you, too.

Questions
Let us men prove to you girls that we are actually good listeners. Send either of us more questions, or spread the pandemonium all over Xanga. Make it so if anyone has a question that they want to hear from a man's point of view, they have somewhere to go. (We are pushing for having these questions go to Mancouch, too.) The questions will be answered one by one every other weekday.

Tell us if you want to be anonymous or not.

New Name
Currently, the Ask Me Anything trend is slowly but surely taking Xanga by storm (at least on the women's side). No, not this idea. But the actual trend of getting a Xangan to ask them anything about their life or whatever. This project changed from more than just an idea to get to know a person, if they are bored. It's a project to help clear up your understanding of a man's point of view, just by being sure the response you are getting comes from an actual man.

So, to maintain identity and purpose in our project, I am thinking of changing the name. (but not the link. We don't have enough credits, and we probably do not want to give ten dollars to change it. Not right now.) So, tell us, what do you think we should call ourselves instead? If we have a beaucoup amount of names, we will hold up a contest or a poll for you guys to recommend, so we can put up the new name. Well, this is until we agree on our own choice of a name.

So, what do you think this should be changed to?