askmeanything's Datingish

Ep. 29: Where Are All The Fellas Who Like Nice, Thick...Glasses?

Wed, 26 May 2010 06:30:00 GMT

Hello, it's me, mynameisblueskye, saying that we are still going strong, yet we are about to be defunct, because 1) we don't have enough questions and 2) yet another one of my ideas is being bit. Oh well. Anyway, quicktofall is looking for that lucky, intelligent, decent-looking bachelor. She is wondering, "where are the nice guys? Where are the guys who like cute nerdy girls rather than the superhot, supermodel sexy type? I can't find any and I really wish I could."

So, I answer this:

Believe it when I say that the guys are out there. Perhaps, it is best that you don't call them nice guys. Just ask where is the guy for you. I know you dont want the straight up a-hole. Its best to jsut say that.

Anyway, yes, they are out there. One of the most mature men will be able to see that a girl looks just a good without makeup, as she does with it. After all, she is human and wasn't born with all that makeup on. so, natural beauty hhas to stick with them, as well. Anybody can look as good as a model, if they could. All you have to do is do what some of the model types probably do: have the mind of a girl on the hunt. Just find out what type of man you like, be confident, and tell them that you fancy them. Then ask if it is possible something can begin.

The difference between a model and others is that men seem to flock to them. Models both have the confidence and a good idea of what type of man they want for themselves, but men seem to go to them, because appearance is what catches the man's eye first.

After all, men can't notice your personality first, because it isn't the first thing they see. So, when it comes to a girl like you, the last thing you should ever do is hide in the background. You have to work harder than the average bear, open your mouth and get the man you want.

Surely, you'll say, "but I'm shy, and I'm afraid he'll say no". The fun in asking a person out is knowing that they might say anything. Some men say something, but have an agenda that goes with what they say. Still, I wouldn't trick that whole "playing hard to get" bullcrap. The worst thing a guy can say to you is no, and then crush your spirit by going out with your nemesis. Even then, you should at least be happy that you got it out of your system. Once you did, adn you saw someone, you'll be able to say it again.

In conclusion, just ask a man out, and if they say no, Move on. If they say yes, then do it up. I used to be in that situation once. I used to think that I wasn't spoiled for choice, because I didn't look all that good. But some girls liked who I was, and went out with me. So, you have a chance. It just takes patience, confidence and personality. If you can't keep a good personality, then its curtains.

Heck, if you are open to the idea of internet dating, there are plenty of nerdy boys here or plenty of guys who would love nothing more than to lap-up a good-looking one, I'm sure. If there are some men who have a fetish for women in glasses, there is hope for everyone.

If you like, go upon a dating service like OKCupid, tell them (or us) what you like in a man, what type of girl you are, and you might find you that man you are looking for. They are totally legit. Or if you like, see who on Datingish will do it for you. Search Metros, and find someone nearby, too.

Ep. 28: Once You Go Thick, Will Your Love For Them Stick?

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:30:00 GMT

betterdesigned asked me this question wrapped around the admiration of big girls or thick girls: "I have always wondered why guys tend to like thick girls but won't admit to it. Is it because of the stigma society places on a man for dating someone that isn't thin or just their own jerkiness?"

I think it's probably because of the legendary belief that skinny girls are louder in bed.

All jokes aside, the media is a pretty easy target, but you can deny their ability to condition everyone's idea of beauty. One of the lines I wrote for a Lovelyish post was "Unless you see a big girl on The Hills or 90210 getting some hot handsome tail or getting a boyfriend who looks like Zac Efron (I dont know any other guy to use), it ain't happenin'. What makes it worse is that the closest they got to a story about someone who just happens to be thick is Ugly Betty. And the premise is she is the butt of a joke." Turn on your TV, and if I'm wrong, then tell me, and you'll get a prize of your choice.

By thick girl, I assume you mean a bit plush around the body or a part in particular. I'm personally not sure about the status of them and thick girls outside of the sort of sensual curiousity around them. But if what we are dealing with is a guy won't admit he likes the girl, he is left with the idea that if he likes the big girl, he loses his "cool". After all, it would seem a lot easier to date someone that a good amount of people isn't going to clown for whatever reason. It also seems like the easy way out, and the easy way to leave the woman he's really eyeing a little disappointed.

Though, what I learned about men and their preferences or what they like is that once they get out of high school, it's no longer about the caste. It's about narrowing it down to what they really like, and going with that. So, to me, I think that his need to keep mum on his love of the plush girls depends on the maturity of the guy's taste in girls or his depth and whether he really likes that girl, or if it is just the curiosity of breaking the norms that comes with dating a big girl, which isn't far from being as similar to a black dude dating outside of his race.

Hopefully, that explains everything. If not, I'll give you the simple answer: since nowadays, men are a little more interested in what they like than what they are supposed to like, his hunger to keep the like for that girl under wraps is, indeed, his jerkiness.

Ep 27: How do you approach your lover with a fetish without freaking him out?

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:51:59 GMT

How do you approach your lover with a fetish without freaking him out?

My recommendation is to approach your lover about the fetish like how you normally would when suggesting on trying something new in sex.

I feel that in relationships people love experiencing and trying new things physically and sexually. It can be anywhere from oral sex, toys, you name it. In relationships both people tend to be interested in trying something new as long as it is with their significant other. That being said, I recommend approaching your significant other about your fetish as if it was not a big deal. Just make sure to not be nervous when you bring it up.

Just remember, the fetish you like will only seem awkward and strange if you make it seem awkward and strange. Plus don’t look at it as strange thing because maybe your lover has some fetishes of their own that you’re unaware of.

In fact, I have friends who are in relationships with one another where both have fetishes. They both too felt awkward at first about their fetishes, but eventually didn’t care because they loved each other in the end.

Going back to what I said, I recommend approaching the situation as if it was something normal. By doing that then the other will take it seriously and not find it strange.

Fetishes in our society are becoming a popular thing in our pop culture so it shouldn’t be a thing to be ashamed of. So just approach it with some confidence. If the other doesn’t really like it, don’t let it bother you because it isn’t going to be a thing that changes the other’s perspective of you. It is just a thing you find sexually arousing and not a thing to be judged off of. Plus if this other person is really your “lover” then you should have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hope this helps!

Later Days…

This was responded by Sonychak@Xanga so if you want to bash about this post please make it toward me, Sonychak.

If anyone else has any more questions, message either me (Sonychak), mynameisblueskye, or Gerald_Washington your questions regarding love, sex, relationships, fashion or anything from a man's point of view. Also, message us if you want to be anonymous.

Ep. 26: (yawns)

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:30:00 GMT

For all of the sleepers, lovers and cuddlers out here, a friend of mine from New Jersey asks: "you know how a man has a tendency to roll over and go to sleep after sex and the woman wants to cuddle? Does it bother a man if a woman rolls over and dosnt want to cuddle?"

That highly depends. Right after making love or having sex, holding somebody signals how much you love them, or how much you just want the sex. After all, the movement that goes on during sex can be pretty tiring. But if during sex, there was an emotional connection (possibly the same emotional connection that causes orgasms), then you basically just want to hold the person like a security teddybear. They are officially your everything in your heart, mind and your soul.

Holding somebody is more able to say "I honestly love you" than sex is nowadays. Sex is basically reduced to get in, get off, get up, get out nowadays. But for someone to hold you and maybe plant a kiss? That's priceless. You are basically holding what you love near and dear to you. You are also signifying that the one you hold close will be in your heart for as long as you will keep holding them. Not holding them doesn't exactly say you don't have athing for them anymore. It basically says, "I'm tired, either you or life wore me out, and I'm going to sleep. Goodnight!" Trust me. It's pretty easy to be tired from feeling romantic.

So, if a woman doesn't feel like they want to take the time to turn around and embrace his belly, it only matters to him, if he truly likes you enough to want to hold you. It depends on how much he likes you, or how much he truly wants somebody like you to sleep with from here to the future. If he complains about such: you can tell him two things, if they are the truth: you still like him, no matter what gestures you fail to act on, or life wore you out so much that you just want to sleep.

Guys, if you are reading this, what are your thoughts on a woman not hugging you in bed?

Remember, ywe are thinking of changing our name. So, if you have a new name for us, then don't hesitate to send it in and help us. If you or a fellow Xangan, your best friend or your grandma have a question about love that they would like answered by a man, then don't be afraid to send in to Sonychak, me (mynameisblueskye) and Gerald_Washington (best of luck on your finals, man!). Also, be sure to put next to your question, if you want it to be an anonymous entry.

Ep. 25: Going Downtown

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Right after the anonymous question about a man who didn't mind giving her girlfriend oral sex (and is kind enough to ask permission, as well), another anonymous dame came in with a followup question that is equally about taking a trip downtown: "What's the thing with guys not being into oral when it comes to giving? What can make him in the mood? How do you decently ask for such a thing?"

Yes, guys, what is it about that sweet, magical kiss to a woman's cozy, tender, juicy and ever-sweet spot that sends most of you heading for higher ground?

If some of you didn't know, we tackled oral sex once with another woman's boyfriend, who was actually interested to do it. Now, here I will explain the whole reason why oral sex has seemed so... troublesome. And I will go ahead and say that this is a hard question to answer without making us look kind of...pussy, for a lack of a less fitting and less joke-inducing term.

But I guess there can be more than one explanation for this.

1. One of them is all about knowing how to do it. One of the complaints is that some men try to find the g-spot and the clit. They lick around, but men find it kind of frustrating, when some of them might not know where your spot is, so they can get to work. (They expect to hear a sort of feedvback, if they are in the correct territory.) Even if they did find it, I guess its all in the work and the lengths they go to to make you cum. Even some male comedians talked of the situation. DL Hughley once mentioned it in a comedy show, and found himself saying once "Hurry up! My jaws hurt!" (I mentioned before that when it came to virgin sex acts, men want to know how to do it, and women want to know who to do it with.)

2. Another is women's sudden questioning of how much their kitty cat smells. Guys, how many of you hate it, when a woman talks of how much it smells, as if it wasn't enough to imagine when a woman's period appears? One of the cardinal rules of thumb during sex is that if you are so worried about how much your region smells, go take a shower. Otherwise, keep it buttoned, and let him go to work.

3. Another situation is that some men just don't want to picture the idea of licking some other dudes crusty cum out of your vagina. Some men like when women do it, for pleasure, only because the cock is on the outside and easily washable. Meanwhile, we have no idea who you might have let inside.

That's why some sexually sensitive guys like to imagine that they are probably the first or the special one taking a lick or a thrust into your sweet area. hey know they aren't but they would love to imagine it, and the possibility of being their last. And the more less-caring, hyperhorny dudes just want no more than action and satisfaction. These days, its hard to tell which women are the promiscuous ones and which ones are more careful. So, when a man goes down and explores your vaginal area, they want to feel like a sweet and scumptious treat is trickling on down the orifice. Yes, I am a nerd.

4. Also, some people might see sex acts psychologically as a sort of power. You mgiht notice that in any porn video you see, any woman who is even suspected as heavily promiscuous is probably never going to get their's licked around much. (Depends on if they care or not.) So, if you are dealing with an a-hole, he might want it whenever he wants it. Heck, a man going down on you should at least indicate that you have power and control over who gets to pet your kitty cat.

Whatever other reasons may be, like I said, the one way you are probably going to get men in the mood to go down there is to try to have a little bit of mystery for him. If the man likes you and you like him, then if all is comfortable, talk to him about it, and then maybe ask him if he is interested. (It doesn't hurt to ease in with a joke, either.)

Perhaps, you can ask him when he feels horny or feels like making love or having sex. If you really want it, and you don't mind returning the favor, tell him that if he does you, you just might do him. That way, reciprocity is gained. (Perhaps, a 69 session can be arranged from that? I don't know.) Just let him block out the quick impression that his tongue probably may not have been the first and probably won't be the last thing to paint the walls of your pussy.

Also, it helps to try not to take too long to cum. If that will be a problem, tell him what he can also do.

Hopefully, that helps.

Tangent: The reason we might use the word pussy more is because unless we say kitty cat or pussy cat, vagina just doesn't sound as sexy. You know?

If anyone out there has anymore questions, send it to me (mynameisblueskye), sonychak, or Gerald_Washington. Then, tell us if you want it anonymous or whatever in the message. It's okay if you have multiple questions, but we are going to answer one per weekday. OK?

Ep 26: The Friend Zone, Men's Edition

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Q: Do guys have a friend zone? And if so, how do girls get friend zoned?

A: According to the ladder theory, guys don't necessarily have one. However, we all sort of do, considering we abide by man law which is a sort of honor code dictating who is up for grabs. Friend zoning usually occurs if you have a boyfriend, or are just plain unattractive, but some men can disillusion themselves to where the latter doesn't matter (after a few drinks). I've seen in some cases where neither matters after a couple of drinks.

News On Monday

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Hello, this is mynameisblueskye at the forefront. This Monday, I thought I would give you some news about Ask Me Anything. First...

Finals
Wish our colleague Gerald_Washington the best of luck on his finals. He will be taking the whole week off and focusing on his finals in college.

Sonychak!
We recruited Sonychak over to be a part of the crew, if most of you didn't already notice. If any guy can give great advice or answer questions, then give us a shout, and we'll see if we can recruit you, too.

Questions
Let us men prove to you girls that we are actually good listeners. Send either of us more questions, or spread the pandemonium all over Xanga. Make it so if anyone has a question that they want to hear from a man's point of view, they have somewhere to go. (We are pushing for having these questions go to Mancouch, too.) The questions will be answered one by one every other weekday.

Tell us if you want to be anonymous or not.

New Name
Currently, the Ask Me Anything trend is slowly but surely taking Xanga by storm (at least on the women's side). No, not this idea. But the actual trend of getting a Xangan to ask them anything about their life or whatever. This project changed from more than just an idea to get to know a person, if they are bored. It's a project to help clear up your understanding of a man's point of view, just by being sure the response you are getting comes from an actual man.

So, to maintain identity and purpose in our project, I am thinking of changing the name. (but not the link. We don't have enough credits, and we probably do not want to give ten dollars to change it. Not right now.) So, tell us, what do you think we should call ourselves instead? If we have a beaucoup amount of names, we will hold up a contest or a poll for you guys to recommend, so we can put up the new name. Well, this is until we agree on our own choice of a name.

So, what do you think this should be changed to?

Ep 23: Tiger Woods

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:09:38 GMT

How do you feel about Tiger Woods and his "situation"?

- Authentic_Black_Dragon@Xanga

As surprising as it is, I still look at Tiger Woods about the same after this event. The reason is because I never really had him at a high standard like most people do in America. I never really found him as a role model before this scandal came out, never really saw him as a figure who represented the Asian community, never saw him as an athlete with a respectable life outside of golf (mostly because it was never public), or never saw him as a person to look up to due to his success. Therefore, I did not lose too much respect out of him like many who have been discussing about this scandal mostly because I never really had any in the beginning. I did however find this scandal very shocking and believe that Tiger Woods was obviously in the wrong.

First one being, how long he made the affair last. Having an affair is bad already, but this specific affair is worse in comparison to other celebrities because of how long it lasted. In fact, in an article I read it supposedly said it lasted about 30 or so months. Being in an affair for that long makes it hard for Tiger to argue his way out. That kind of length shows me that he decided to stay in the affair and not take the opportunity to leave it or leave his spouse. I don’t know how his relationship was with his wife, but when I read that it seriously made him lose his golden boy image.

Another shocking thing I found was that many articles sounded like Tiger Woods’ wife assaulted him throughout their marriage. I am not sure if this correct or incorrect, but I have seen many articles mentioning this. If this is true, I understand why he sort of resulted to having affairs. I just wish he broke it off with his wife immediately instead of staying with her while having the affair. Like I said I have no clue if this is correct or if he was trying to fix his relationship while with her mostly due to their life never being broadcasted until this affair, but I was very shocked either way when I reading this.

The last shock I had about this that many of you probably have the same is Jaimee Grubb. If you are unaware of who Grubb is she is a cocktail waitress who was in the VH1 reality TV show ‘Tool Academy’. When I saw articles with her face plastered all over them I was very surprised. I even said outloud when first saw her picture, “Holy crap? It is that hot girl from VH1 who dated that douche bag with the ugly hair cut from Tool Academy!” This was strange when I started reading articles with her mostly because she was with him for so long in the affair and because she finally decided to make it public. I honestly have no clue what her purpose is by doing this because I have yet to see her make any exposure out of this, but either way it was a terrible timing for Tiger when she did.

Therefore, even though I find this scandal very shocking and not respectable… I really didn’t lose too much respect out of Tiger. Sure his scandal is horrible and makes him lose his golden boy image, but honestly he never had that image to me before. He was just another athlete to me so I can’t really relate to readers who have him at a high standard. I agree he did something horrible and I too despise cheating, but in reality he was never perfect to me and I think people need to realize this. He did something horrible that he will regret for the rest of his life, but he was never a person who tried to be the golden boy in the beginning. Just remember that.

What do you readers think? Did you lose respect out of Tiger Woods or is it about the same still? Was this scandal shocking to you when it came out or was it predictable?

Later Days…

Some articles to read if interested:

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/12/04/crimesider/entry5889182.shtml

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/tiger-woods-apologizes-alleged-mistress-jaimee-grubbs-releases/story?id=9228059

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ittTFCRuwinSaWLa0oesRehTxoMwD9C9O3UO0

This was responded by Sonychak@Xanga so if you want to bash about this post please make it toward me, Sonychak.

Ep. 22: Give or Take?

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:58:51 GMT

This entry is from someone who wanted to be known as anonymous. Her exact quote was, "I always had this impression that girls performed oral on guys because guys liked it, but girls didn't really like to do it because they found it gross." She then was surprised guys like to do it, too. "So I figured that is because girls like it done on them, so they make guys do it, because that is only fair. So basically my thoughts were that the giver of oral is only doing it to please the receiver because it's the receiver who enjoys it (most, at least.) Fair? Fair.

UNTIL... my boyfriend asked me if I "would mind" him performing it on me... that confused me because I would have thought that guys (and girls, too... just everybody in general) don't enjoy performing it, so why would he ask to do it?

Do you understand my question? haha. So basically I am confused as to why someone would ASK to perform it as if they WANTED to, and ask if I am okay with it, as if I wouldn't be the one to enjoy it...

So, was I wrong all along? Is it the giver that enjoys it, or the receiver, or is it just both.. or does it depend?

A: To settle the idea about girls doing it because guys like it, I read once that getting some oral pleasure from a girl is actually a man's number one favorite sex act. Probably next to doggy style, but...it is true some women tend to feel a little uneasy about oral, getting it, and giving it. (I'll try and explain that later.) But girls do set up a fair ultimatum: if I do you, you have to do me eventually. it IS only fair. After all, love is all about reciprocity, or the pleasure in making each other feel good. That, and women are sexual, and love a little somethin' somethin', too.(But between women's loud self-consciousness about their smells down there, they often make it hard for men to want to comply. Haha!)

So, if you have a man who wants to give it you, hold on to him. And if he asks you to do it, I suppose he is being a gentlemen, because some women most likely don't want to have any type of sexual act, until they are ready for it, and some don't care. We can never tell, so we ask, instead of lifting your legs and bumrushing our tongues in the hole.

If you like it as sex to save your virginity, then its cool. Oral sex is made for the receiver to enjoy. And if the person enjoys giving it, that is a bonus, since what what I keep hearing, some men are hesitant to give it up (maybe because of the suspected cleanliness of a woman's territory).

Whether the both of them enjoy it depends upon each of your skills on giving it and whichever gets them off the most. We men aren't too picky, since most or some of us are getting our cock sucked, and we also get off on the fresh smell of a woman's vagina aroma. (It happens.)

Thanks you for the question. If anyone else has any more questions, message either me or Gerald_Washington your questions regarding love, sex, relationships, fashion or anything from a man's point of view. Also, message us if you want to be anonymous. Don't hesitate to tell your friends about it, too.

Ep. 21: No Schnitzel, Thanks

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:30:13 GMT

cherrypopstar asked us a question that should attract plenty of asexual people. "How do I get a guy to like me but not be interested in having sex with me? How do I get a guy to not be interested in sex at all?"

Firstly, two things can always work: It should be a rule of thumb to not put a picture of me in my bikini on the profile picture. After all, some men who are sexual eventually focuses on whether you look good half-naked. (No, we men aren't always that shallow.)

You can never tell a person being nonsexual by the way they gripe, either. If a woman complains about the man being too sexual, she probably wants more love to balance things out. If they complain more about men in general, we just assume they are lesbian. Because that is the kind of men we are.

Now, asexual men are not rare, and that's the good thing for you, but they ARE like finding a needle in a haystack. Nobody can ever just go up to a man and ask if they are sexual. If that's what you need, then I'd look through the web. I looked up asexual dating for you, and came up with these three websites:

Asexual Pals: www.asexualpals.com
Acebook: www.ace-book.com
Asexual Personals: www.asexualove.com

Through Yahoo! or Google search, you can find a lot of websites that can introduce you to people who are asexual.

As for getting a random guy to like you, but not be interested in sex with you? Well, you can always promise him that if he goes out with you, you'll have a box full of his favorite porn or he can sleep with all the women he wants. Otherwise, the website is your only saving grace.

Thanks you for the question. If anyone else has any more questions, message either me (mynameisblueskye) or Gerald_Washington your questions regarding love, sex, relationships, fashion or anything from a man's point of view. Also, message us if you want to be anonymous.